After a dope convo with my cuzzo, Mike, we dove into the difference between guilt and shame.
We can absolutely feel guilty for what we wish we did, that’s always an opportunity for us to change course. The shame tho...that’s the tough part. That’s the deep, insidious root that is the cause of allllllll the actions or lack thereof. Shame and guilt are closely related and require a mindset shift for deep healing.
Guilt is what comes up when we DO something. I can be visible, impactful on others and can be open to judgement (which can add gasoline to our own internal Shame).
Shame is the narrative that plays when we feel guilt and tells us that WE are wrong. It is the trauma pattern we so desperately fight against. And in that fight, we bury the shame and the narrative deeper, darker and more toxic over time.
We get to mess up and do dumb shit! it is part of being human. Par for course ya know? That is truly where the learning and growing happens.
Shame and the narrative takes time to understand and heal from. So, invite it in. Undertand what the narrative is saying and where it came from. Only then, when you meet it and the younger version of you who believed it can you start to shift and heal.
Working with a therapist or a coach like me can help you unpack alllllll of it
And no matter what: you are worth it and you got this.