Jump with or without a parachute
Sounds terrifying. Dangerous. Risky.
To me it was. It was THE ONLY OPTION.
In 2016, I met with my boss, where I was miserably teaching, trying to square peg round hole myself into a situation that was just not right. So, thinking I was proactive, I created my own position! I wrote my own job, created the position I wanted and filled a much needed void in the wellness and social/emotional learning component that my school needed so badly. And for the record, I was the one who introduced the concept of a Wellness Director 4 years prematurely to its current inception. Congrats to whomever is walking into THAT toxic shitbox. Godspeed.
Without even fucking OPENING the damn proposal I made, full of state and national standards, curriculum for all for terms and a culminating project that was at the time, what I considered to be THE epitome of my life's work, my principal just slide the packet across the table and said "that's nice."
He leaned into be and said:
I know you are not happy. I know that this isn't the place for you. I know you have talents that you want to use. And, I can't keep bailing you out when you get in trouble.
Angela, sometimes, you just have to jump with or without a parachute.
Turn. On. The. Waterworks.
For the first time in my tenure in the Boston Public School system, I finally was acknowledged and understood.
Someone finally saw that I was talented! I was more than ground hogging my days year after year and I was worth so much more! Looking back, I really struggled to get that validation. I wanted approval over trusting and knowing my own self-worth. So, this was the drop of water to start my own internal waterfall to start moving, changing, growing and aligning.
I will forever be grateful for the raw, honest recognition and real talk that T.H. passed along to me in the most loving and encouraging way.
So, let me just ponder this for a second: how much is your life worth to you? Is it worth stagnating, comfortably miserable in your own suffering, complicit in your own abuse, not doing what truly sets your soul on fire? Waiting. Wondering. Passing it by?
Maybe it is time to just jump out of the plan and TRUST yourself that you have what it takes to land and rebuild a life that you don't feel the pressure to escape or countdown the days to retirement.
Just think about it...no one is pushing you out of the plane just yet.
We are here when you are ready :)
“And the Day Came When the Risk to Remain Tight In a Bud Was More Painful Than the Risk it Took to Blossom.” – Anais Nin.
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